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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24095536">(we should just kiss) like real people do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersend/pseuds/wintersend'>wintersend</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>prompt fills [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Almost Kiss, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Kissing, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Snapshots, a little bit not much, there are two beds but jyn and cassian say fuck that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:08:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24095536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersend/pseuds/wintersend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassian Andor has made her a coward.</p><p>OR, five times Jyn and Cassian almost kiss, and one time they do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>prompt fills [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>210</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(we should just kiss) like real people do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written for the prompt "a kiss we had to wait for." Title taken from Hozier's song with the same name.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>ONE</strong>
</p><p>His face is shrouded in shadows as the elevator moves towards the bottom, each floor taking them one step closer to impending doom. Cassian looks delirious, half-dead already, and he’s never been more beautiful to Jyn. He stares at her, all the missed opportunities and what-ifs and what-could-have-been wrapped into one painful longing gaze. She’s aching.</p><p>She thinks she wants to kiss him. But it’s not the right time, not the right place. Jyn was given something she’d never thought she’d have, something she can barely put a name to, and for the first time in her life, she wants to do it right. It’d be a cheap kiss if she kissed him only because she knows they’re not going to make it. They’re about to die <em>so why not?</em></p><p>But she doesn’t want it like that. This connection between them, it doesn’t need actions. Doesn’t need physical proof.</p><p>And maybe they’ll never get a second chance, but she’s content to hold him close and be by his side as the end approaches. It’s enough.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>TWO</strong>
</p><p>Cassian is watching her through the eyes of Joreth Sward: flirty, leering, a bit cocky. It’s disconcerting.</p><p>She wouldn’t mind if this was the real him but the real him would never look at her that way. He’s too respectful or he just doesn’t see her like that; whichever it is, Jyn knows this is all fake. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop her from longing. And it certainly doesn’t stop her traitorous body from reacting.</p><p>Cassian – Joreth leans down towards her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. His face is so close she can feel his breath warm on her cheek, and her heartbeat picks up. His hand lingers on the side of her neck and her bare skin prickles. His touch is burning. He leans closer still, closer than she thought he’d go, his lips an inch away from hers. Her thoughts fall away; it’s all white noise in her head.</p><p>Then he breathes, “Would you like to go back to my hotel room?”</p><p>She swallows. His voice, low and sensuous, sends a shiver through her. She imagines what it would be like to hear it from <em>Cassian</em> and not his cover persona. She hopes he doesn’t see the goosebumps on her arms.</p><p>She has to focus. This is a mission and his words tell her he’s completed what they came here for. The obvious sexual tension they carefully built up the entire night is just an excuse to leave early.</p><p>Jyn <em>knows </em>that. But her body can’t remember it. Cassian looks at her like he wants to ravage her and she can’t find it in herself to look away, nodding mutely. At least, to anyone watching, she’ll look convincing. She’ll look damn convincing because she’s not pretending at all.</p><p>He pulls away and the spell is broken. Jyn almost staggers as she breathes in deeply, the noises around them slowly trickling in again through the confused haze of her mind. Cassian puts his hand on the small of her back and gently guides her through the crowd. Jyn can’t forget about his breath on her face for the remainder of the night.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>THREE                                       </strong>
</p><p>“Ah,” she says, accepting the caf from Cassian as she sits, almost slumped over her report, “you’re the best.”</p><p>It slips out without thinking and she tries not to wince. It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not a big deal. She’s just grateful for the caf that he brought her without asking because he knows her that well. She’s just grateful to be known and cared for. But it feels like a big deal when she knows it’s so much more than that.</p><p>Cassian’s mouth quirks. Jyn has discovered that he smiles with his eyes rather than his mouth and those rare exceptions are to be treasured. She files away every single smile he gives her, eyes or mouth, and keeps them hidden in a corner of her mind reserved just for… stuff about Cassian. The way he takes his caf. The way his eyes sometimes light up when she grins at him. The way his voice sounds when he’s giving orders, gruff and commanding. The sound of his quiet laugh that she’s only heard on a couple of occasions, or the huff he makes under his breath that passes for a chuckle with him.</p><p>Jyn has never been so fixated on someone in her life and it’s a bit wondrous and a lot frightening.</p><p>He says nothing. Jyn is still somewhat frozen in place after that minor slip up but he doesn’t seem to read too much into it. That’s good, she supposes, except sometimes she wishes he’d pick up on the clues she gives him, realize they both feel the same way, and make the first move for her. Of course, he’d have to feel the same way for that.</p><p>Jyn has never minded making the first move before but the idea that he might not react well makes her so terrified that she’s almost sure she’ll never say anything. It wouldn’t be worth the pain of losing him.</p><p>She’s rationalized this a hundred times, but she can barely remember it now as she looks up into Cassian’s eyes, taking a sip.</p><p>“Good?” he asks, and she nods, not trusting her voice to speak. Her hands are clutching the cup too tightly and Cassian is hovering above the desk – is he leaning in towards her? Is she imagining it?</p><p>It seems impossible to tell what he’s thinking, those dark hooded eyes boring into hers, making her brain short-circuit. He doesn’t drop his gaze. The world tilts; perhaps Jyn is leaning towards him too, pulled in by his magnetism. She feels a little light-headed, a heavy feeling in her stomach. Anticipation and terror war with each other.</p><p>Maybe she’s misreading the signs. Or is this finally it?</p><p>“Hey, you two,” Bodhi says, appearing out of nowhere. Jyn startles, almost dropping her caf. She loves Bodhi, she really does, but she could punch him right now. No, that’s too harsh. Maybe she’d just glare really hard and say a few choice words about timing. <em>Read the room, Bodhi.</em></p><p>Well, it’s not his fault, she thinks as she takes another sip of her caf, avoiding Cassian’s eyes. He’s pulled away too, his posture much more closed off than before. Even if Bodhi hadn’t interrupted, Jyn knows she’s too afraid to have gone through with it.</p><p>Cassian Andor has made her a coward.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>FOUR</strong>
</p><p>There are two single beds in the dingy little motel they’re staying in, and it’s almost a disappointment. She always sleeps better with Cassian’s arms around her. He’s a safe place to land, a shelter in a storm. He anchors her, brings her back to herself when she feels lost, and she tries – hopes she does the same for him. Those are her best nights, when they can bask in the comfort of each other.</p><p>Of course, it’s not every night. Far from it. And it’s not fair to put her attraction on him, she knows. But she’s selfishly hoped this could be a night like that. Having Cassian so close but not right next to her will be torture.</p><p>And it is. Jyn tries to sleep but her thoughts keep her in the dusty room, acutely aware of the space between her and Cassian. It should be, she muses, that she can’t fall asleep with Cassian next to her, not the other way around. But as much as she longs for more of him, his solid warmth against her back is too comforting to keep awake. It is the absence of him that pulls at her heartstrings. <em>So close, yet so far away.</em></p><p>She shifts her head towards him, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest and the smooth expression on his face. He looks, for once, void of stress or anxiety.</p><p>Then his voice rings out, “You okay?”</p><p>Jyn startles. She didn’t think he was awake, too. Feeling a bit awkward at having been caught, she bites down on her lip. “Can’t sleep, I guess.”</p><p>He opens his eyes to look at her, his gaze unreadable. His voice is quiet but calm in the dark. “Come here.”</p><p>She pauses. Looking at him, she can’t quite tell what he’s thinking, but she knows he’s serious. He never jokes around with her. And why should she refuse, when she can spend the night in his arms, even if the bed is small and they won’t have much room to themselves. She slowly gets up, watching as Cassian scoots up against the wall to make room for her. Jyn lies down facing him, putting her hands under her head to mirror his pose. Cassian stares at her, both of them silent in the dark. The only sound she hears is her loud heartbeat thumping in her ear.</p><p>Maybe she should turn to the other side, she thinks but doesn’t make any move. It’ll be easier to fall asleep if he’s not looking at her like that. Like he feels and wants the same things she does.</p><p>But she feels braver in the dark, and slowly, she scoots a little closer, almost so that their noses are touching. Her eyes stray to his lips and she sees as his mouth moves to form the sound of her name.</p><p>“Jyn…” It’s quiet, trailing off when she presses her finger against him.</p><p>“Shh.”</p><p>She doesn’t think about actions and consequences as she leans in a bit, but pauses to see his reaction. He’s not pulling away, not questioning what in the force she thinks she’s doing, which she takes as a good sign. She catches his eyes one last time and he never looks away, watching, waiting to see what she’ll do.</p><p>And then his datapad beeps. Jyn closes her eyes and turns her face into the pillow as he reaches out a hand over her head for the bedside table. She hears him tapping away for a minute but she keeps her eyes closed, even as he sets it down again and pulls his arm back to his side. His gaze settles on her for a second; she can feel it, almost see his eyes running over her face. She knows he’s not buying that she’s fallen asleep but he doesn’t say anything. It’s just another missed opportunity like the rest of them.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>FIVE</strong>
</p><p>“Cassian!” She throws herself at him as soon as they find his cell, letting his embrace carry away the anxiety of the past couple of days. His arms wrap around her, holding her just as tightly, as if he, too, has been terrified that they won’t see each other again. Jyn closes her eyes and lets herself hold him for a second or two before she pulls away.</p><p>Her hands frame his face, grasping at him like a drowning woman at a lifebelt, but she doesn’t even care because he’s here, he’s safe, and he’s not going away again. He looks a bit battered and bruised but uninjured for the most part, and she can’t begin to describe the relief she feels at knowing he’s okay. His hands settle on her waist, holding her gaze with a strange intensity, and the familiar desire to kiss him burns in her veins. The thought of losing him was enough to scare her into realizing she can’t dance around her feelings forever, and overwhelmed at seeing him, she has half the mind to just press her lips to his now and screw the consequences. There’s something in his eyes, something quiet and hopeful, that almost begs her to do it.</p><p>“Ahem.” She swivels around to see Kay looming in the doorway, judgment written all over his metal face. “Now is not the time or place.”</p><p>Right. Jyn regretfully lets go of Cassian, reaching for her blaster at her side. They still have to fight their way out of this mess.</p><p>“You okay?” she asks Cassian, just to make sure, and hands him his own blaster when he nods. He holds her gaze for one more second, some unidentified emotion in his eyes, but when he turns away, it’s gone, replaced by calm cool professionalism.</p><p>She thinks she sees him throw a dirty look at Kay before they go.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>+ ONE.</strong>
</p><p>She’s not sure how she ended up on her back with Cassian more or less straddling her but it’s incredibly distracting.</p><p>One second, she’s looking at him, taken aback by his sudden closeness as they sparred, the next she’s on her back with her hands pressed against the mattress and his solid weight pushing her down. <em>Fuck.</em></p><p>“I win,” he says and it barely registers over the loud thumping of her heart. His voice is scratchy and deep, quieter than usual. His eyes are dark this close, hiding a world of secrets, and she thinks she can see the same want she feels mirrored in them. But all she can do is blink dumbly, acutely aware of every inch of her body touching his. Too paralyzed to even make a move.</p><p>Cassian stares like he’s waiting for something but when a few silent and unbearably long seconds pass, he swallows and pulls away. Jyn is immediately hit with the loss of him as he gets up and rolls his shoulders, avoiding her eyes. She stares after him dumbfoundedly. That’s it, she’s done. She’s not playing this stupid game anymore.</p><p>In one swift move, she swipes his legs out from under him, barely pausing when he lands with a soft “oof.” She grabs his shirt and pulls him on top of her and kisses him, finally fucking kisses him without pausing to think. Cassian is clearly taken aback, frozen against her lips at first, but then he comes to his senses and kisses her back, letting his body settle on top of hers. Jyn moans quietly, his hand sliding into her hair, his hips pressing against hers, her hand on his back. Boldly, she throws a leg over his waist, smiling when he groans and presses against her a little closer.</p><p>“Force,” he mutters as he breaks away but keeps his face close, his hands holding her cheeks, “you’re going to be the death of me.”</p><p>“The feeling’s mutual,” she gasps, out of breath and a little strangled.</p><p>Cassian pulls away and lands on his back next to her, both of them breathing like they’d just ran a marathon. She stares up at the ceiling as she tries to calm her racing heart and hears him chuckling abruptly.</p><p>“What are you laughing at?” She turns to him, her own mouth quirking up at the smile on his face.</p><p>“It’s just… This is so you.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“This.” He gestures between them, letting out another small huff. “The way you just pulled me down to kiss me. Very Jyn of you.”</p><p>“Well,” she drawls as she turns on her stomach and puts a hand under her head so she can look at him. “I wanted to win,” she finishes, and she’s not quite talking about the sparring match.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! As always, you can find me on <a href="https://captainandors.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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